It's Okay to Cry

I cried this morning. Sometimes I suck it back in, but today I didn’t. I needed to cry.

This year has been hard, like really hard. That’s not to say it hasn’t also been a great year because it has. It’s honestly been one of my favorites.

I’ve gone back and forth on whether to list out all the reasons why it’s been so hard, like a guest list to my own personal pity party or my own resume of suffering. Then I think about writing each hardship with a positive spin like, here’s a list of all the great lessons I learned in 2016. That’s not going to happen either.

Instead I want to share with you a quote taken from Michael Singer’s book, The Untethered Soul. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend that you do.

“So let all of your blockages and disturbances become the fuel for the journey. That which is holding you down can become a powerful force that raises you up. You just have to be willing to take the ascent.”

I think the last line bears repeating. “You just have to be willing to take the ascent.”

After a full year of making the conscious effort to move forward and up, I can say in full confidence that I am not just willing, but committed to the ascent.

Going back to my first statement and to my overall theme of grace.  It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel. To do so is to be human. But don't waste too much time feeling. Instead, get out there and be the badass you were meant to be. 

Grace Period

I've been a little quiet lately. It is not that I don't have anything to say, it's actually quite the opposite. A lot of the major changes in my life took place about this time last year including leaving the job, city, and friends I had for nearly a decade. With that, came the new husband, the new name, the new city, the search for a new job and friends, and the new life in the military.

Change is hard and personal growth is not always a pretty process. I know my original intent was to unveil all the ways I have learned to trust the universe. But I have to be honest, that motto doesn't leave much room for grace. That motto is more about being a super human and powering through whatever crosses my path. It is more about force than flow, and believe me, I wrote the book on forcing my way through life's difficult moments.

To me, here's the difference between trusting the universe and living with grace...

I am hiking along a trail and encounter a snake (I am terrified of snakes by the way). Trusting the universe would equate to forcing myself to walk right past the snake (fear and all) in hopes the universe did not want me to be bitten at that moment, or accepting that there was a lesson for me in being bitten. My response to this idea = OH, HELL NO!!!

By acknowledging my fear and giving my blood pressure a moment to normalize, I allow myself some grace and hopefully a more rational decision for moving forward.

There's a saying I like that is often found in books on spiritual growth, but it originated from Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. It says, "we are not humans beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience."

While spirituality has been my guiding light over the past year, my hope for 2017 is to acknowledge my humanness and to allow for grace to flow more freely. I hope you'll join me in this journey.

With grace,

Jennifer